That woman (more memoirs of a wanker)

Ok, I'll do it. I'm prepared to divulge what happened to me on that boat from Hiroshima to Matsuyama. Though in doing so, I'll be reliving the torment I went through over a year ago.

I might have to make a claim for mental suffering. Where there's blame, there's a claim.

So, we were on this boat en route to Matsuyama. We'd had a look around the boat (Or was it a ship? What's the difference?) and had found a seat. I went up to the shop to buy an ice cream. The woman behind the counter was the same woman who had welcomed us onboard. She was also the woman who gave the safety announcements and, I think, had countless other jobs, too. In fact, she was the only visible employee on the whole vessel. Was she also the captain? Quite possibly! Anyway, I digress... I bought my ice cream and was shocked to see hardcore porn available at the counter. Although shocked, I knew we were in a different culture and didn't really pay it much attention. I had, after all, seen men reading such magazines on commuter trains, groping themselves in front of other passengers with no-one batting an eyelid. We took the ice cream, ate it, went back to our seats and had a sleep. I woke up about an hour later. Everyone else seemed to be sleeping. Ian stirred, looked at me and asked where we were. I said I didn't know. We went to the stairs, which were near the shop, to look at the map. Ian was standing there, trying to work out where we were, I had no idea, so my eyes began to wander. I noticed no-one was stood at the shop counter. Anything could have been pinched - so I went to have a look! When I got to the counter, I could see the shop-keeper through the glass case at the front of the shop, sat on the floor. She seemed to be reading something. It was one of those hardcore porn magazines! Then, what was this, her elbow was moving. Strange, what was she doing...!? Then I looked more closely. To my horror, she was masturbating! Oh my gawd! I nearly died. I went back to Ian and told him. We just couldn't believe what she had done and continued to do!

On disembarking, there she was again at the bottom of the stairs saying goodbye to the passengers and shaking the hands of the few westerners onboard. Oh, Christ! I certainly didn't shake her hand! As I walked past her, I said, "I'm not shaking your hand, I know what you were up to. Your fingers are bound to stink!" I don't think she had a clue what I was saying as she continued to smile at me inanely.

Vile.