Monday, February 20, 2006

IBS

I've got IBS. It's been three minutes since I did a toot.

Gosh, that feels better. I now know satisfaction, like when alcoholics go to AA meetings.

This post isn't me whinging, I just want to get it all out in the open.

I fart all the time, my stools go from something like gravy to something like a golf ball - and sometimes they're normal! I wish I could do something about it. I always seem to have tummy aches, cramps and wind. It really gets on my nerves. Anyone know any miracle cures? Good things to eat which calms the bowel? Anyone got a magic wand?

I've been reading Dr Gillian McKeith's book again. She makes some good suggestions for combating loose stools and constipation - but the only trouble is, I don't know when I'm getting what. I could eat something to stop constipation, only to be having the squits that day anyway.

Another thing, I don't have a spleen. Well, I do, but it's withered. Gillian claims, in her book, that you can tell what's wrong with a person by looking at their tongue. Mine is often coated. She says this means you have a weak spleen. Yay! It's uncanny. One remedy is to take Bryonia, which I have been doing for the past week. I don't know what it's going to do to me, though. Watch this space. I did look it up on the internet and found that it seems to cure everything, it's something of a panacea. Gillian reckons she treats the cause, not the symptoms. Is there any food I can eat or medicine I can take that will make my spleen grow back?

I'm cheesed off. I don't want to be normal, heaven forefend, but I do want to be healthy.

Anyone reading this have IBS?

It's just struck me, I do talk a lot of shit.

1 comment:

Dan said...

Dont know a lot about IBS, but spleens I can help with. Part of Bethanys heart condition meant she didn't have a spleen - it's all very indepth genetics stuff, but suffice to say, for various reasons, she was born without one.

Your spleen is one of the main parts of your Immune System - no spleen/badly functioning spleen = diabolical immune system. Bethy was on Penicillin twice a day from when she was four days old, and would have probably been on it for life.

In adults, they lose their spleen through accident or disease. And adult without a spleen isn't quite so bad - adults have the various immunities and what-not to get them through life and it's not such a big deal - there are plenty of adults without one, and even more with broken ones.

In short, if I were you, I'd not worry about it too much. Stressing about health issues will make you ill in the end of the day. In short, your spleen might "fix" itself, but I'd not hold my breath. Kinda like Liver or Kidney damage - once it's broken, it's broken.

Just relax about it :)