Sunday, February 19, 2006

S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G

We went to the McArthur Glen shopping centre in Livingston today. I needed to buy some new trousers as all mine are too big! I've lost a shed load of weight recently and am now back to a 32" waist.

What a game I had. I love GAP, but they had nothing. Piles of jeans and last season's unwanted stock, but nothing for me. I refuse to go into M&S, so headed off to Next. Friggin' nightmare. All the wee cubes on the hangers were wrong! The number of times I picked up a nice pair of trousers or jeans that were supposed to be 32" regular, only to find they were 38" short or something bizarre like that, I just couldn't tell you. I eventually found one p
air, so I went to try them on. But hey, they don't have a changing room. How ridiculous is that!?!?

So then we went for a walk around the store. I found a nice pair of grey casual trousers in Ted Baker and only twenty quid, 32" regular! Hey - and guess what? They had a changing room! So I bought them! I came out of the changing room to ask Phyllis for his advice, he wasn't there, but the lad seeing to the changing rooms was strutting about. "Oh," he said, "they look great." I was taken aback at his enthusiasm for a custo
mer, until I saw him staring at my crotch, then realised why he was so enthusiastic. He thought he was going to go back with me into the changing room and have a wee lick of Mr Todger.

Sadly, they had no belts in Ted Baker (and I need one), so we decided to go back to Next to look at their belts. They had about eight, and were all naff. So that was that. Still, now sure of my new waist size, I was able to buy the pair of brown jeans I'd been admiring in Next. So it wasn't all bad.

Didn't see anyone famous - and I was convinced I'd see Dannii Minogue this weekend. Still, there are still a few hours to go until the weekend is over. She may yet call round for tea and crumpets.

Ooh, I haven't had a crumpet for ages. I love them, with salted butter and a nice cup of milky coffee, followed by a fag.

Christ, this diet is worse than going without sex. Sex? What's that again?

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