10 Ways To Kill Yourself:1 Hang around with people who don't care about you. Mars bars will become your only comfort, you'll become obese and die of a heart attack or stroke.
2 Live a life of misery and sorrow, usually surrounded by people who don't give a shit or are out to hurt you at every possible moment. You'll turn to vodka to drown your sorrows and die of sclerosis of the liver.
3 Make sure your brothers and sisters hate you. That way, you can be sure to have your parents at the centre of any family dispute or conflict. Parents see no wrong in their children, and they will be more upset than you at the end of it. Out of guilt and shame, you'll be at the beach one day, go in for a swim, sink beneath the waves and never come up for air.
4 Get yourself in love with someone who doesn't love you. You'll feel worthless and depressed. In your despondency, you'll not be bothered to look left and right when crossing the road. A truck will come along and smash your body to bits.
5 Have a partner who regularly cheats on you. They're more likely to give you HIV/AIDS. In your depression, you won't take any life prolonging medication and it'll all soon be over.
6 Live with someone who has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. There will be cleaning fluids and bleach all over the house. In your exasperation, you'll drink the lot. It's a painful end, but shouldn't take too long.
7 Live with someone who constantly tells you that you're fat. Your self-worth will be at an all time low and you'll soon be afraid of eating anything. Within three months, you'll be dead.
8 Go on dates with someone who's not attended their anger management classes in a long time. Make sure you're always late for nights out, meals and parties. You'll soon find yourself clubbed to death.
9 Ensure your significant other is the kind of person to never say, "I love you." Your mind will be full of doubts, you'll become acutely anxious and then insane. Your GP will give you a prescription for anti-depressants, tranqulizers and, if you're lucky, valium. You'll become even more depressed and take all the pills with a litre of gin.
10 Get someone to break your heart. You'll just feel like giving up. This method can take a while, but it will work.
2 comments:
I like your last chance post. Nice words. Never heard of the group though. I'll have to check around on the net to find that song. Got a poem entitled "The Truth is" you might like it. Later...
Hi Scribe... Sure, would love to hear the poem. I love poetry in all its forms.
Last Chance can be found on Soft Cell's album, Cruelty Without Beauty - you might be able to download it somewhere.
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