Advice from a former reformed wanker

No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of the iceberg. Call it intuition, call it snooping, you have an idea something or someone isn't all it or they seem. It's probably much worse than that.

And no-one wants to hear about your problems. Just make them laugh. Pretend you don't actually care. That way, you won't give your friends and family a guilt trip - another problem for you.

Most people smile at you, to your face, and sneer at you behind your back.