Peugeot

If you're thinking of buying a new car, please make sure it's not a Peugeot.

Click here to see why.

In fact, don't buy any French car or anything French at all.

They detonate massive nuclear weapons in the Pacific ocean and, trapped in lorries, they burn alive wee lambs imported from the UK. Also, don't forget what happened with Rainbow Warrior.

Not very nice at all.

And don't tell me you have to buy French champagne because all else is not champagne... New Zealand make some very good sparkling "champagne style" wines. Some international reviewers have even said they're better at it than the French.

My only problem with buying things from New Zealand would be the problem of pollution miles. You should really buy as locally as possible. But hey, if you're reading this from the comfort of your chair in a country close to New Zealand, you have all the more reason to buy New Zealand wines!

I'm not anti-French for the sake of it and I don't read The Sun. If the French people elected a decent government and President and started behaving in a civilised fashion, I might buy French products or even visit, but until then, in the words of Mrs Thatcher (whom I actually despise - and believe you me, she's no Lady), "No, no, no."