Darko

Guten abend und bon weekend, dank.

Donnie Darko has gnarled away at my brain all day. I'm recommended to watch the director's cut. This, I'll do. And I'll also start praying again. I can't let myself become as obsessed by this movie as I think I will be. I'm a very obsessive person and I've too many obsessions on the go at the moment, already. I don't have room in my kitchen for another.

So, for now, I'm going to stop trying to work out what it's all about, what it means to the characters involved and ask myself what it means to me. I instantly came up with this:

Is there a higher power or God and if so, is there some kind of master plan for us? Is there such a thing as fate? Do we not have free will? Or do we merely think we do? Are we just players in some madman's game? Is everything mapped out before us before we're born into this world - and if so, do we know what our story will be before we get here? If that was the case, though, what would be the point in living a life of which you know the outcome? It makes no sense. Nothing much does. I don't have the answers to these questions, but I understand them from my perspective. I might have the answers one day. Whether they're the right answers or the wrong answers, I don't know, and I don't think I care. Where will it get me? More questions.

It's made me think a lot, more than normal. I don't know if my brain can take it.

I need enlightenment. Of course, I have a problem with that, too. I desire to escape desire. How the hell is that possible? Or am I too preoccupied with words? Perhaps Hildert is right and I'm just talking shit.

I should be worrying about clothes, pop music and hunky men like all the other teenagers.