My Mum took me up to London...

...My Mum took me on the train.



My Mum took me up to London.



Three stages of locomotive excitement.


And Phyllis manages to remain calm. How does he do it? I'd love to know. Wouldn't you, dear reader?



Women In Black make a silent protest, just off of Trafalgar Square, about the unwarranted punishment of Lebanese civilians.



I meditate, in the street, for all over two seconds. I've no patience.



We went into Trafalgar Square (several times) and Phyllis was happy.



In tribute to Kids In The Hall (my niece and I used to watch it). I squidge your head. Shame the picture didn't work out.



We met up with my twin sister, Robin. See, we really are twins. We even have matching hair.



We went out with Robin for a pizza. Instead of staying in the same restaurant for our dessert, we minced over to Old Compton Street and devoured some gay goodies.



Here is a close up. I love brown - but this does not make me a scat queen.



After the dessert, we went to a gay bar.



We had lots to do the next day. We started early at Piccadilly Circus. Just round the corner, on Regent Street is the Apple shop.



The Apple Shop is fabulous. All the computers are online. An employee there told Ian that it's London's busiest cyber café - and it's free!

We had a wee browse, looked at a few machines, iPods and other things, Ian took a look at my blog and I took a look at his. Then we took pictures of ourselves with the built in camera in the new iMac and uploaded them onto our blogs. It was totally fabulous.



Ian changed the background image on one of the iMacs from a boring solid block of blue to a fabulous photograph of himself on his fortieth birthday with wee Mary.

After this, we went to the Japan Travel Centre and booked our Japan Rail Passes.



We went on a bus. It was red. All the other buses were red, too.



Back in Trafalgar Square.



I adored these Hindu monks - at least, I think that they were Monks. Their clothing blew my mind, a fabulous shade of orange. Also, most of their bellies were on display. Look at the guy, above, folding his arms. See: belly.



Doesn't Ian have nice teeth?



There's no love, like the future, love.

Come with me.



We went to Brown's for lunch, going via a map store (so Ian might indulge his obsession). En route, we passed the theatre which is staging Avenue Q. I thought of Brian.



I like to go to Parliament Square. We walked there from Trafalgar Square, passing Downing Street. Tony wasn't at home.



Big Ben is actually the name of the largest bell inside Saint Stephen's Tower. I'm full of useless information.



On our way from Parliament Square to our hotel, we passed the London Eye. We didn't go in it.



I like to pull a face from time to time.



Ian likes to pull a face, too.



Just one kiss on my lips was all it took to seal the future. Just one look from your eyes was like a certain kind of torture. Once upon a time, there was a boy.

On my return to the hotel, I found I'd left my mobile telephone on the bed. Gggrrr. I wondered my I hadn't been getting any telephone calls or text messages. How can anyone call me every five minutes when I don't have the damned telephone on me? There were loads of text messages and voicemails waiting for me. My biggest regret was not receiving a text in time from China Blue to meet her. I had a couple of texts from David and a voicemail about meeting him later at the Madonna concert.

Exciting!

Nice to see Our Glorious Leader!



I'm sorry, dear reader. The rest of the photographs were taken using my mobile telephone. Obviously, it's not as good as a proper camera, which I didn't want to take in case I wasn't allowed into Our Glorious Leader's concert.

To make matters worse, it appears I have vaseline on the lens.



Our Glorious Leader was the first star to have her handprints placed in Fame Square. Into which Phyllis placed his own.



As did Minge.



Once inside Wembley Arena, we met up with Northolt Dave.



The concert was fabulous. I took only one photograph on my mobile telephone and then gave up. See above. The quality was beyond awful.

However...

The concert was beyond fabulous!

My favourite parts were:

Future Lovers (during which Our Glorious Leader lauched into I Feel Love)
I Love New York (she said fuck and invited the audience to suck George W Bush's dick)
Music/Disco Inferno
La Isla Bonita
Lucky Star
Like A Virgin
and
Hung Up



Many golden balloons were released from the roof of the arena during the final song, Hung Up. I was not lucky enough to get one, but the lady in the photograph above, was. I asked her if, for my blog, I might take her photograph. She kindly said yes. First of all, she thought I was going to ask her for her balloon. I wouldn't have dared! She said she'd already been offered fifty pounds for it. I would have taken the money.

Our Glorious Leader is in Rome tonight. All the Catholics are apparently offended that she's up on a cross. I'm offended that they say I'll be going to hell. I'm offended that they sentence millions of Africans to death each year by telling them that they will also go to hell if they use a condom. I'm also digusted that the Pope doesn't do as Jesus asked, give up his possessions and follow him. How rich is the Catholic church, actually, and how many poor people could be fed, clothed and watered if they sold off all their priceless artworks, land and artefacts?

My Mum took me up to London...

...And brought me home again.

Anyone remember those fabulous old BR adverts?