Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Old

Ten things I'm not looking forward to about being old:

1 I'll say, "...young people today..." a lot.
2 I'll have to get a shawl.
3 I'll feel the cold.
4 I'll tell young girls that they look like sluts.
5 I'll ask young boys if they're girls or boys.
6 I won't be ashamed of the photograph in my bus pass.
7 I'll watch Countryfile.
8 I'll look at polyester dresses and mumble, "That's nice."
9 I'll hit people in the face with my walking stick.
10 I'll piss myself all the time.

8 comments:

Blog Off said...

you know, hen, since I went home for 6 weeks my readers have dried up! Virtually fuck all cunts have visited me. You'd practically think I was NHS.

BUT. This bitch is now abroad again and back with a fucking VENGEANCE.

Get blogging on my space you clarty mo'fo's or I'll drive by 'n can you. Or at least shout rude words out the winday.

Ta-ra! XXXXXXxxxxxxxx

A Novelist said...

LOL - I'm already guilty of #1 ;)

Blog Off said...

it's better than being guilty of a No 2, anovelist. I mean, that's just shit.

(insert cheap laugh here)

Blog Off said...

I've just tried calling Minge n Phyllis and they're ignoring the phone! Shocking. I mean, what can they possibly be up to at 10pm on a Wednesday night?

Crisco, anyone?

Minge said...

I look at your blog, Alan! I'm faithful to the cause!

David said...

Hmm... I'm actually looking forward to #9.

RIC said...

Will you please mind your age, boy?!
Can you possibly imagine the effect of that list on... everyone? Honestly? I didn't read it. What for? Depressions come and go as the wind blows to and fro. So why bother? «Que será, será / Whatever will be, will be.» Period.

Enjoy your evening with your 12, 14, 16 inches... what do you call it anyway?... (lol&lol) :-)

J.a.G. said...

I've hit old as I look at some of the drivers on the road and think "What the hell! You look like you're 12!"

A good thing for being even older old? You can be cranky whenever you want as you've earned it:)