Saturday, January 20, 2007

Charlie

Prince Charles. What a fabulous individual. He's fightin' for the planet, ladies! Yes!

The greenest man in Britain has cancelled a trip to Klosters in an attempt to reduce his carbon footprint. Isn't that good of him?

Sadly, he's being forced to go to the USA soon to collect an award for being such a green fella. By aeroplane. Taking a huge entourage of twenty with him. Costing the country an estimated £116,000.00. The poor man. Such hardships.

Perhaps, though, he needs to take a lot of people to carry the award? It might be heavy. And he'll have at least one suitcase to be carried. And he needs the Wiper-Of-The-Royal-Arse to go, too. He can't be expected to wipe his own bottom. Oh, and someone to unpack said suitcase. And someone to take the Royal toilet paper. He can't be expected to use something produced in one of the lowly colonies, surely? I suppose he'll need a few body guards, too, just in case someone throws a cabbage at him. Strange, I thought he'd welcome a cabbage, it being green and all. You know, dear reader, how he likes to talk to plants. And cabbages are plants, you know. But here we highlight his darker side, dearest. Yes, he might like to talk to these poor fellows, but then he cuts them down, in their prime, with an axe! Yes! And then eats them! He makes Sawney Bean look tame! So I suppose, with such behaviour taken into account, he'll need to take his psychologist along, too. Do all these people add up to twenty?

Poor Charles. It's a hard life.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you have doubts, Minge, about how strenuous his life must be? The future king?! You have no pity, no mercy at all!...
Tsk, tsk, tsk...
(The things people say nowadays... Not travelling because of pollution... I'd better stop right here!)
:-)

Minge said...

No, don't stop. NEVER stop.

I don't doubt, to him, his life is strenuous, but with no sense of other people's reality, his ignorance must be sheer bliss. His life is other worldly compared to the likes of you and I, Ric.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I won't then. It's really quite difficult for me to believe William is his son!
(There! I said it!)
Though, to be honest, I do feel «sorry» for Charles: he had such a monster for a father... How could he be otherwise, I wonder...
(I guess I'm just projecting myself now, but I don't care/mind...)

Minge said...

Yes, I pity Charles: a monster for a Father and a cold hearted bitch for a Mother, but that's not an excuse. He's a vile wanker. If anyone had the time, money and opportuntiy to face up to their problems and improve, it was Charles Windsor. Sadly, his arrogance stops him. I think he's a cunt.