A friend of a friend is a personal trainer who likes to visit the cheekier clubs in London.
His hobby took him to a specialist club in Vauxhall just before Christmas, where in his wisdom he felt that the appropriate dress code would be a small leather harness.
Well, you may mock but it certainly paid off. A handsome actor beckoned him over and without speaking casually pointed at his own cock. Ah, the art of the actor! It was quite clear to the trainer that even without speaking the actor's message was coming over load and clear.
And the message? It was the old Shakespearean classic, "Blow me."
Which the friend did, without a single word being spoken.
And that, boys and boys, is how to give a blowjob to Rupert Everett.
Large penis, like a tin of Vim topped with a sheep's heart, and uncut, fact fans.