I've nicked this from Alan, who, in turn, nicked it from the fabulous Alessandro:
My ex was... selfish, emotionally and sexually retarded.
My family is... opinionated. No. Self-opinionated.
Maybe I should... get a life.
I love... with all my heart and soul, and hate with the brute force of my steel toe-caps.
I don't understand... why anyone would vote Tory.
My favourite colour is... purple.
I lost my... virginity far too early in life.
Walking on... sunshine is a hit by Katrina And The Waves.
I want to... scream at times.
People would say that I'm... an obvious homosexual.
Love is... a stranger in an open car, to tempt you in and drive you far away.
Somewhere, someone is... lying in the bath, slashing their wrists.
I will always... battle with my weight.
Forever is... a long time, and that's how long I'll love you.
I never want to... have a heart attack.
I think the current Prime Minister is... easily led.
When I wake up in the morning, I... look at the clock, roll over and go back to sleep.
Life is full of... surprises.
My past is incredibly... dull.
I get annoyed when... the press and television media go on and on about asylum seekers.
Parties are for... birthdays.
I wish... that I could wave a magic wand and bring people back from the dead.
Kisses are worst when... you're saying goodbye to an old woman and her false teeth fall into your mouth.
Tomorrow, I'm going to... get the tent out of the garage.
I really want... to be slim, trim and muscular.
I have a low tolerance for people who say... "Send all those bloody foreigners home."
If I had a million dollars... I would buy a farm and operate it ethically, employing as many so-called no-hopers as I could.
Guys are... best when they're queer.
Girls are... all potential fag-hags.