Thursday, July 06, 2006

Boaby

Before I begin, I should tell you that I've been inspired to recount this tale after reading this.

Remember the fuckwits? The fatter of the two, the one riddled in cold sores, the spoiled child, once told me about a friend of his. They both belonged to some aspirational club, a bunch of no-hopers who thought they were something special, something like a cheap version of The Freemasons.

They would go on tours around the UK, getting drunk at British Legion clubs and generally make fools of themselves. The fuckwit's friend was a right cheapskate. In order to avoid paying for hotels or similar accommodation, he would chat up old ladies, go back to their place for sex and thereby not have to spend a penny on his overnight stay.

I should add, at this point, that the friend of the fuckwit was in his early twenties at this point.

The fuckwit told me his pal met a woman in her eighties at a British Legion in the highlands, took her outside, through the fire escape in order to chat her up. The fire escape was right by the men's toilets. On going to the toilet, the fuckwit heard his friend's latest target say, "Never before in aw ma life have I put a man's boaby into ma mooth."

How low would you stoop, dear reader, to save money?

9 comments:

Dan said...

I will never forget a conversation a group of us had once, a long while back, while drunk.

Would you have sex with a dog for £1million?

Quite a few people said they would, but the biggest clincher was "Only if no one ever found out"...

Minge said...

OMG - a dog as in an ugly person or as in a canine?

Dan said...

Four legs, shaggy coat, drug sniffer.
OK, bad example for some of the "females" in these parts, but still...

Woof woof.

graham said...

Oh dear,
Octagenarians are off limits, in my opinion, to all but others of their generation. I feel like vomiting. As for dogs...have had the same conversation with drunken folks before...and same kind of outcome too...only if nobody ever found out!! nasty

Blog Off said...

vile

Blog Off said...

for a million pounds I'd not only shag it, I'd fucking marry it.

Dan said...

Note the lack of surprise here ;)

Minge said...

Alan would actually do it for a quid, if the truth be known.

Dan said...

He'd do it for free if it promised to not slip notes under his hotel door...