Kidnap!

So, it's been revealved today that there was a plot by Fathers For Justice to kidnap the Prime Minister's son, Leo Blair.

Poor little chap.

Why has no-one ever threatened to kidnap me?

I wish someone would. Perhaps an animal rights group. After all, I am an animal and I have rights. I have a right to constant sex, champagne, Italian shoes, haute couture, pampering and Hamlet Miniatures on tap. I demand that someone kidnap me and demand these rights (for me) and not release me until all demands are met!

Kidnap me! Now!