Jesus!

With you, I'll never be lonely again, mon amour! The voice of my soul has come home!

I've been searching for the face of Jesus, dear reader. And how, how long... You might have seen a photograph or two from my recent trip to the highlands of Scotland featuring my wee pal, the Buddha. Since January, I've been looking for a Jesus to also be our friend. I want to take him to Japan with me in a few weeks as I took the Buddha on holiday a wee while ago. But despair set in. I've been the length and breadth of Scotland. Not one Jesus could I find. Christ!

But I fret no more. Today, blessed am I among women. The Lord is with me. And all thanks to Krafty Bitch. The dear little dimpled darling sent me a Jesus action figure! With poseable arms and gliding action.

Stress and anxiety are unknown to me. Peace and joy are mine! I will never be afraid again. I feel love.

Oh, and as if the Jesus figure wasn't enough, Krafty Bitch was also kind enough to give me one of his family cookbooks! It's choc-full of delicious inspiration, including veggie burger potato loaf, peanut butter cookies, pumpkin pie and Japanese fruit cake! How thoroughly fabulous!

Could the day get any better? Almost! Tonight, my little maid, we're treated to the 2007 Eurovision Song Contest semi final on BBC3! With Ian's friend, the delicious homosexual, Paddy O'Connell!

I'm not sure if I'm going to love it or hate it this year, doll. The German song is the favourite with some dire swing thing. No originality. Still, there's plenty of that in the guise of this years common theme: campery! Drag queens seem to be omnipresent. I hope one of them wins. We certainly shan't. Our effort is complete rubbish. The song is as interesting as dog shit and the two men are about as tasty. The two women are as camp as knickers, but, Lord above us, that's just not enough. Offering people something to suck on or asking men if they have salty nuts does not a Eurovision winner make. Oh, how I long for the days of the dear Jessica Garlick, Sonia, Bucks Fizz, Imaani, Belle and the Devotions and Bardo!

Favourites from the past include:

One Step Further - Bardo
Love Games - Belle and the Devotions
Come Back - Jessica Garlick
Every Way That I Can - Sertab
Better The Devil You Know - Sonia
Making Your Mind Up - Bucks Fizz
and a Song For Europe entry
I'll Never Be Lonely Again - Sapphire

I might get drunk and eat a load of chocolate!

But of course, karma strikes again. To balance out all this fabulousness, there is some shit. Yes, Mr Blair has announced his resignation today. He's been a bit naughty at times, yes, but I honestly believe he's the best Prime Minister of modern times and better than any other figure in the Labour Party. Most certainly better than any bloody Tory.

The world will miss sweet Tony. You might not think so now, hen, but wait until 27th June when, God willing, Gordon Brown takes over. Dull, dull, dull. History has a vile habit of repeating itself and he will play John Major to Tony Blair's Margaret Thatcher.