Monday, May 14, 2007


Phyllis and I have just returned from the cinema having seen Spider-man 3.

The visual effects were outstanding, though the viewer is left feeling somewhat over-stimulated and excited, verging on euphoria. Although the action is staggering, one is given a vague impression that the special effects were imagined first, realised second and then, thirdly, a story was patched together around them.

And the story left a lot to be desired. With a running time of, I think, well over two hours, one might expect a story of depth and intrigue, of betrayal, evil, twists and turns. No. Spider-man 3 tries to be a drama, and a sentimental one at that. It doesn't work. It just doesn't slot in with all the action. What we end up with is an implausible take on Diff'rent Strokes. I don't want to be patronised, I don't want a message, I don't want a moral to chew over. I don't want to think. I just want Spider-man.

Can I have him back, now, please?

I'm not a conspiracy theorist, really, I am not, though I am aware of subliminal messaging. We saw Spider-man race across a giant USA flag. We saw him tell the audience that sometimes choices are difficult, but making the right decision is important. We saw various icons and symbols of Christianity and then we saw Spider-man defeat a giant man, a man made from sand - representing the sands of the Middle East? If it wasn't so terrible, it would be cringe-worthy.

I'm just hoping I've seen something that wasn't there, though, once you've see it, dear reader, it's impossible to ignore.

Something else that was impossible to ignore was Venom, as played by the very delicious Topher Grace. Yum, yum, yum. I'm suddenly a huge fan of his work.

Spider-man 3: 6/10

And so to bed.


Moncrief Speaks said...

Now there's a movie I can promise you I'll never see.

But I love that you know Diff'rent Strokes.

Alan said...

I forgot about the flag moment! You reminded me how I rolled my eyes at that part. Awful.

There was just too much going on, and not enough happening. If they had concentrated on Venom and the black goo by itself, and left out sandman and hobgoblin, and less of the Mary Jane jealous routine, and more of the standard non-arrogant Peter Parker (wow, that's a lot of ifs) then it could have been really good.

I gave it 6 stars too.

matty said...

One could not pay me enough to see this film --- and, that was before I read what you just wrote about all the insipid symbology. Ugh!

...maybe it will play well in our red states.


I saw RED ROAD the other night. Blew me away!!!! Now, that --- is a movie!

Not sure it left me with the best picture of Scotland, but the story was focused on what looked like counsel housing.

gab said...

mike hated it and he usually loves spider man

The March Hare said...

Now who cares about a story when there's Spider-man to look at? I swear, my interest in Spider-man is only..., only..., truly.... erotical! Has ever been so, since I was fourteen. Last year I got a MARVELlous full colour Spider-man book from Canangal for my b-day while visiting her in Calgary. Have been drooling over it ever since. [sigh]