Banku

Saturdays are often outrageous, dear reader, and possibly my favourite day of the week. Having said that, though, Thursdays are good, too. On Thursdays, I scatter almonds all over the floor, douse myself in honey and then roll around in the nuts. Just before lunch, the local arab community comes to my house and licks me clean.

This Saturday, mes amis, was better than even the most gluttonous of Thursdays. Phyllis and I drove down into the heart of The Borders to see my pseudo-brother-in-law play his trombone. I was impressed with the size of his instrument and how readily he was prepared to slide it in and out. Can you imagine my surprise, my little maid, when he offered to show me his bell-end?

Oh, darling, what a fabulous way to spend Haiku Saturday!

Oh, and just when I thought it wasn't possible, it got better! On my return home, I sat down to watch the most recent episode of Doctor Who, 42. All thanks to the BBC and Virgin's watch again service!

I was so excited, I nearly puked!