Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I'd like to be a rebel

I'd like to be a rebel. I really would. And I was. Once.

It was back in the early nineties. I should remember the date, but I don't. I don't even remember the year. Some things are best forgotten. Some things, you try to forget, but can't. I'd forget the whole episode if it weren't for my few seconds of glory, the few seconds I felt in control.

I was involved in an armed robbery at my place of work, a building society. A customer came in several times throughout the day and finally made an appointment to see one of us about a mortgage and savings plan, He came in at four o'clock and went through to the back office with one of my colleagues. It was a routine affair and should have taken no longer than fifteen minutes. At half past four, I started to get worried, so made some lame excuse to go through the interview room, just to see what was going on. My colleague and the customer were talking over basics, the same basic things I'd heard them discussing ten minutes previously. Another ten minutes went by. I stood at the door to listen. They were still talking about a mortgage application. I guessed he was nothing but a timewaster...

At five o'clock, the guy was still in the back office with my pal. It was time for us to go home. I bagged up the cash in the tills, locked the front door and turned the lights off in the banking hall. Next, I took the money bags through into the interview room to put them in the safe.

As I passed the customer, he stood up, put a knife to my throat and bent me over the safe.

I heard a sound and thought my colleague had passed out. She hadn't. She'd just dropped her coffee cup.

This was no standard armed robbery. They usually shout and it's all over in less than two minutes.

This went on for an hour. He was very calm and collected. He knew exactly what he was doing.

I'm still bent over the safe and can feel his erect penis against me. The very thought of it still makes me feel like vomiting. I'm told that a lot of men get erections in very acute situations. It doesn't mean they're sexually excited. I wasn't to know that at the time. I thought he was going to rape me. This thought was exacerbated by the fact that he then told us both to remove our clothes.

No rape took place.

We were made to remove our clothing in order to give him more time in his escape. We were hardly in a position to chase him down the street without a stitch on.

He told me to take all the money out of the safe, which I did, and put it in his hold-all. Bizarrely, he took a compliments slip from the desk and popped that in his bag, too.

Get the video tape out of the machine and give it to me," he instruced.
"Please!" I said.
"Please," came his response.

That was my moment of glory, my moment of power. He'd walked all over me and made me feel like nothing, but this was mine. He certainly didn't take everything from me. Without this, I'd have given up a long time ago. He didn't take all of me. I stood up to him. And he knew it.

You might think that this is something and nothing. But it was a huge deal to me. I'm crap and standing up to people at the best of times, but in this situation, it was nothing short of a miracle.

The guy got away, we called the police and he was soon apprehended. He didn't have a getaway car. He was going to go on the bus. He was opening a bundle of fifty pound notes when the police found him. I expect he was hoping the bus driver would have change.


Brian said...

I got strong armed robbed at a store once by a guy who'd just gotten out of jail, discovered how hot it was outside (it was July) and decided to commit a crime so he could go to prison where it was cooler. God's truth.

But I think your experience was more traumatizing. Good for you to grab some power.

Minge said...

There are some real nuts out there, Brian. How are you about it now?

Blog Off said...

you forgot to mention the sugar, hen

Minge said...


Brian said...

Oh, I'm fine about it now. I had disturbing dreams about it for a year or so afterwards. Like I said, it wasn't anywhere near as horrible as your experience.

Voix said...

That is terrifying. I'm so sorry!

And I have to say that photo of Billy Idol is making me want to lick my computer screen.

Not to diminish the horror of your story, of course.

Man is he HOTTT.

Anonymous said...

Bloody hell, that sounds absolutely terrifying.

Not wanting to belittle your experience in any way, but apparently your blog is the only hit for ' "Jesus", "John Barrowman's cock" ' on Google.