Monday, March 26, 2007


These three ladies, dear reader, are (l-r) Lil, Pat and my Mum. The three of them are firm friends and have been for very many years.

Push, push in the bush.

I often try to work out how their relationships work, what keeps them together, why they're so solid, how they resolve their differences and who's the leader of the gang.

I finally worked out, when down in England last, that my Mum's the leader. How did I work this out? With my Mum saying, "I'm not calling her. She knows where I am..."

There's confidence for you. The leader making her minions sweat. It would be scary, horrid, even, if Mum was conceited about it, if she had a plan or if, dare I say it, she had some kind of personality disorder where she'd only have friends if they were afraid of her. But none of these things can be applied here.

I think, with age and experienc
e, we all realise that constant intervention and rôle playing is not conducive to a good relationship. Things either happen or they don't. People gel or they don't. Fretting and fiddling with the minutiae will have no lasting impact on the greater outcome, that being the friendship and its ability and capacity to last.

One thing, I think, that does keep the three of them together is not a huge list of similarities between them but their differences. They each come from similar socio-economic backgrounds, but the things that really count amidst our human relationships are as different as they could be.

Easygoing types and those seeking an easy life know to always avoid the topics of politics and religion in conversation. Mum and her two friends seem to talk about nothing else. Things get heated, but they never fall out. And the three of them couldn't be more different. Lil's an atheist, Pat's a Roman Catholic and Mum refuses to be labelled. Lil's an extreme left-winger, almost communist, Mum's sometimes so right wing that she scares me (but then she'll come out with something vaguely Marxist) and Pat has no political convictions whatsoever. No topic is ever taboo and no-one ever falls out.

I sometimes think that their relationship is perfect. They don't even have to bother with the hassle of sex.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating - and they've been eating from the same bowl for very many years.


Brian said...

I hope we stay dear friends into our twilight years.

Bill S. said...

Not that I'm complaining, because it's one of my favorite songs, but is there a significance to "In the Bush" that I'm not recognizing?

Minge said...

I like to do the things you like to do, too. I want to do the things you want to do, too. So baby, let's get to it. Peace of mind.

I thought of In The Bush when I thought of the three of them because of the above lyrics, Bill.

Lil likes to go to the town centre, so they go, but the other two hate it. They never say so, though.

Brian, will you come and take me out from the rest home?

Lewis said...

They all sound like a real hoot and a lot of fun. And, they definitely have the real meaning of friendship figured out. My own Mum has a friend that she's know since they were age 5. Amazing. And something for all of us to strive for.

gab said...

good points there-and i hope we'll always be friends xxxxxx