Seven hot men:
You know, dear reader, it feels like it was only yesterday when I did this last, but it was actually six more days than that. Seven days are a long time.
Aaron has been silent.
Snow White wanted to know what Hallowe'en traditions her readership had.
A Dalek swore.
Gabby realised she was unique.
Rand made me cry.
Brian got caustic.
My Mum saw a lesbian vampire with a period fetish and I heard that song from that transformersesque car commercial.
Someone made a political gaffe.
Ric said some beautiful things about Minge.
Scotland continued to be stuck in the past.
Earl was scared to touch his toes.
We had a totty top up.
Alan brought us Tech Thursday.
Anjou showed off his desk.
Kapitano showed us that we didn't have to look too far for a rapist.
Brett revealed he was still alive.
Rumours Of Whores made it into Susan's playlist.
Dan put out an SOS for Best Magazine.
Tom wanted to land on someone's cock and showed us what a hell house was.
Derek had a hunk of the week.
Eddie did a regal exclusive.
The Queen Of Spain bored me.
There was a bumble bee for Hallowe'en!
China revealed herself to be omnipotent.
Torchwood got chatty.
Phyllis showed an uncanny resemblance to the most stupid man on earth.
Michèle started the If I were meme.
Zona gave us living proof of hope.
I remember my friend, Sean, defending my choice of seeing Pet Shop Boys in 1989 when his sister said that only gays went to see them.
I once lost a tooth when a brattish girl at infants school slammed the playground door on me. The thing that upset me the most was that I swallowed the tooth and therefore would get no visit from the tooth fairy.
Someone once called me a communist, like it was a bad thing. I'm not a communist, though. I'm indescribable.
A bumble bee stung me when I was about four years old, behind my ear. I became obsessed with woolen hats, then, at the height of summer.
Auntie Winnie used to send me boxes of chocolates through the post when I was a wee boy. This made me feel so special.
I once piddled in someone's shower gel bottle.
As a young boy, I woke up in bed with cold vomit all over my chest.
I've got nothing to do today but smile. Seven days, seven questions. Take the quiz. Go on, you know you want to. Click here.
Seven sexual swear words/phrases/terms I like to use:
Cunt (my favourite)
Shove it up your arse
Seven things I hate:
People who write 80's instead of 80s.
Feeling out of control.
Waking up with a boner.
Seven things I wish I had the opportunity to say:
You're not hot enough to matter.
Can you get it harder before we go for the take.
Bring me a new boy. This one's split.
I'd like seven wigs, please, all different styles, all blonde.
I have no integrity.
Do you know who I am?