Monday, November 13, 2006

Celebrity tits

Good viewing on the telly tonight. Highlights and low points (rolled into one):

Extraordinary Breastfeeding

I thought that this programme was going to be fabulously interesting. Instead, half way through, I reached for the remote and switched the idiot's lantern off.

This fly-on-the-wall documentary focused on several families, all with outlandish stories of breastfeeding to tell. One young Mum from Bradford was still feeding her almost two year old daughter. Hilariously (or so she thought), Mum was encouraging her young daughter to call it bitty, à la Little Britain mode. Another woman ended up breastfeeding her eight year old granddaughter so that Mum could conceive. Another Spanish lady was still breastfeeding her four year old son so that she'd still be producing milk after the three year process of adopting a Chinese baby.

I began questioning the motives of the women (and the men) involved, mainly, I think to satisfy and justify my own discomfort. So I must question myself: why do I not have a borblem in a woman breastfeeding a young baby, but the thought of doing the same with anything above a toddler fills me with horror? To be frank, I have no idea. If you have any thoughts, dear reader, please let me know in the comments section.

I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!


More car crash television. Another freak show. Is David Gest the only real reason for watching this slice of reality tv?

He was portrayed as a show off, a sociopath and other-worldly. But, hey, hang on, aren't those prerequisites for celebrity status?

Any viewer just knew he was going to be nominated for the first Bush-tucker trial. Not because the public disliked him. No, but because Liza sat on her sofa the whole evening, snarling at the television, hitting redial! It's hatred with an "r"...

The others?

Jason Donovan. Passive and inconsequential. Favourite to win. Planning to re-release Too Many Broken Hearts already and perhaps a new greatest hits package?

Lauren Booth. The Prime Minister's sister-in-law. That makes her a celebrity?

Matt Willis. He has to stay the course, he might even win. He's funny, easy-going and hot!

Myleene Klass. She's a bit camp at times. And laughs a lot. I don't know much about her.

Faith Brown. My gosh. She should have been in Extraordinary Breastfeeding, not this show! Oh, but if the campers do get hungry, they could always nibble on one of her massive boobies. She's got enough to feed Australia! I do love the woman, though, she's like a female Cupid Stunt: camp, fabulous and hilarious. I hope she wins. I don't think she will, though.

Phina Oruche. A non-entity. Let's see if she does a Traci Bingham and opens like a lotus flower.

Toby Anstis. Annoying little gnat. People who prefix their name with the should be horse-whipped. Calling himself The Tobester requires capital punishment.

Jan Leeming. I always liked her for some reason. Not sure why. I thought she was classy, I suppose, an upright citizen. Those things were important to me once upon a time. Not any more. Sadly, in tonight's first episode, she came across as precious and a tad pathetic.

Scott Henshall. Boring, mincing queen. We've seen it all before, duckie.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

My friends all breast fed. One had a daughter that didn't want to quit but the mom forced her when she began taking a bite of a chip (crisp) and then a drink.

I do have one friend who would love to do it for as long as possible but I too find it a little creepy when the kid can ask for their 'snack'.

Minge said...

I understand this. I'm not being weird. Eight years old is too old to go for boobie. Surely, if they have teeth, it's time to stop, right?

And then why do we move them on to cow's milk? A cow's milk is for her calf, not for us, just as much as a Mother's milk is for her baby and for no-one and nothing else.

Isn't dairy just plain wrong?

Anonymous said...

Eight is way too old- ick! I think I'd have nightmare's if I were to remember feeding from the mom.

*SHUDDER*

Dairy is wrong...unless it is in the form of cheese, beautiful cheese...and maybe a little something for my tea :)

Lost Boy said...

They are all dying to ask David what's wrong with his face. Myleene called him 'honey' last night. She can smell the cash.

Minge said...

Perhaps she wants to sit on his face?

Anjou Wu said...

Poor Jason is not aging well!

Anonymous said...

Just as a comparison---Conor is 8 yrs old. He already knows boobs are for more than breastfeeding! I didn't breastfeed because I went back to work shortly after he was born. IMO, breastfeeding past a yr or so old is just plain wrong.

Minge said...

He's had a really good hair job, though. Much better than Mr Gest's.

Boobie sucking at the age of eight is kind of weird. What the hell will that girl think about boobs when her husband wants a wee play?

Anonymous said...

Just Thought I'd Say Hi!!!!


I made an extra $2000 a Month Using this site!!