Thursday, November 09, 2006


Kathy, who is my dear niece, came up to Edinburgh a few days ago with her metrosexual beau, George. We've been having a high old time.

I'm finding it difficult not calling him Boy George.

The highlight for me, so far, has been chocolate pizza.

Some of the things they do and say can be quite shocking.

We took a trip to The Real Mary King's Close yesterday, followed by The Edinburgh Dungeon. It was very scary. One of the actors liked to ask us if and how we like it. We aren't sure what it is. He was also keen on asking us if we liked slapping, furthermore how we liked it. At the end of our tour, he offered us his banana. "You know you want it in your mouth. Don't you!" he said.

On leaving, I took ten thousand volts in the electric chair.

The bus ride home was a riot.

We each had to pose for a photograph showing what we'd do for a tenner.

You'll see, dear reader, that I'm quite conservative whereas Kathy is a tad slutty and George is an absolute whore.

Then the writing on the steamy windows began:

I love Brian's cock in my ass.

Brian is George's Father.

I felch strangers for cash and food.

You see, I was right, dear reader, George is a total whore.

We're going to the National Gallery and National Portrait Gallery today. We were going to leave at 1100. It's now 1112. Kathy and George are still in bed. I'm going to finish up here and knock them up.


Voix said...

Good heavens. How many old ladies had a stroke while you were on the bus?

Anonymous said...

You have the best travelogues on the all the Internets!

Brian said...

You didn't take ME for chocolate pizza.

You didn't take ME to the Dungeon.

You didn't give ME a cutie like George.

I'm feeling sad.

And can we PLEASE not discuss the cock of ANYONE named Brian on this or any other blog within reach. I feel self-conscious.

Lex Ham Rand said...

OMG Minge that is one hilarious travelogue!!! I needed a good chuckle and this was just what I needed.

Is that an electric chair or a throne? You look like King Minge!

Andrea said...

Your neice looks like a lovely girl. And its true what they say about first impressions. You were right about George!!


Anonymous said...

Great travelogue Minge. LMBAO at the writing on the windows... :)

Brian said...

Oh, and Minge, does "knock them up" mean something different in Scotland than it means here in the States...?

Bill S. said...

That is hilarious!

Presumably, the old ladies on the bus didn't know what felching was.

Anjou Wu said...

I'm still laughing over this...although I nearly had to look up "felching" before I remembered what it meant. Wow!

Anonymous said...

That is hystercial (the writing on the windows). It looks like you guys had tons of fun during your visit together. I'm glad. :)

Moncrief Speaks said...

Wonderful! Truly brilliant, hen!

gab said...

sounds like u had a fab time cant wait to come up!

coal2k said...

ROFL! I LOVE the bus slogans! :)

How the hell are you pet? Must get together soon! xxx