Thursday, November 09, 2006
Kathy, who is my dear niece, came up to Edinburgh a few days ago with her metrosexual beau, George. We've been having a high old time.
I'm finding it difficult not calling him Boy George.
The highlight for me, so far, has been chocolate pizza.
Some of the things they do and say can be quite shocking.
We took a trip to The Real Mary King's Close yesterday, followed by The Edinburgh Dungeon. It was very scary. One of the actors liked to ask us if and how we like it. We aren't sure what it is. He was also keen on asking us if we liked slapping, furthermore how we liked it. At the end of our tour, he offered us his banana. "You know you want it in your mouth. Don't you!" he said.
On leaving, I took ten thousand volts in the electric chair.
The bus ride home was a riot.
We each had to pose for a photograph showing what we'd do for a tenner.
You'll see, dear reader, that I'm quite conservative whereas Kathy is a tad slutty and George is an absolute whore.
Then the writing on the steamy windows began:
I love Brian's cock in my ass.
Brian is George's Father.
I felch strangers for cash and food.
You see, I was right, dear reader, George is a total whore.
We're going to the National Gallery and National Portrait Gallery today. We were going to leave at 1100. It's now 1112. Kathy and George are still in bed. I'm going to finish up here and knock them up.