Thursday, December 07, 2006


How relieved am I, dear reader?

Very, is the answer!

Yesterday, on my return from shopping in the city centre, I found a telephone message had been left for me by Sandra at Oral Medicine. She'd called to see if I could make it in today for a 09:30 appointment. It being gone 17:00 before retrieving the messa
ge, I could do nothing before this morning. So, en route to the hospital, in the car, I called Sandra to tell her I was on my way. She was quite happy to hear that I was.

Ian drove me into the city. The traffic was terrible, but we still arrived with plenty of time to spare.

Before long, I was in the oral surgeon's chair. Her name was Wendy. She was camp, fabulous, funny, beaufitul and larger than life. No, that doesn't mean she was fat.

She said she'd had a wee letter from the Ear, Nose and Throat department to say my biopsy was inconclusive and she'd been asked to have a look at me. After a few questions and a wee look at my cake hole, she was quite satisfied that the tumour on and in my tongue was trauma tissue caused as a result of injury to my tongue and therefore benign.

"We'll whip that out straight away!" she said.

"What, now?" I asked.


And she did. With a nurse holding my hand, Wendy repeatedly jabbed my tongue with anaesthetic. She told me then, to shut my eyes. Honestly, I ddin't feel a thing, apart from a finger on my lips. Curiosity got the better of me and I opened my eyes to see long yellow threads coming out of my mouth. Stitches. It was all over.

Wendy told me the coating on my tongue was normal and I shouldn't worry. The tissue she'd removed was about an inch long and the thickness of an earth worm. Not an image to fill me with joy, but her words did. "...highly unlikely..." She said there was still a slim chance the tissue removed could be malignant, but that it was highly unlikely.

I'm to go back in two weeks for a check up, results et al.

I'm going down to Bournemouth on Saturday, as planned, though will h
ave to return to Edinburgh on 22nd December for my hospital visit. I'll fly up from Southampton for the day. I've never been to Edinburgh on a day trip before. Exciting! Nice to go flying!

The anaesthetic soon wore off, leaving me in agony. The pain is quite bad, even with the help of Nurofen. Extra strength. Swallowing is absolute hell. I had no idea I did it so much.

Do you like to swallow, dear reader?

As if all this wasn't bad enough, I'm starving! With all the worry, I've not really felt like eating for the past few days. Now I'm ravenous. But can't eat anything f
or twenty four hours. I did take a little ice cream earlier. It really helped, actually. After that, I tried thin Ready Brek, but that was no good. I couldn't swallow it.

Ian, the kind and thoughtful devil that he is, came back from the supermarket a few moments ago with a bar of Lindor for wee Minge. Sadly, even after having let it completely melt in my mouth, I couldn't swallow it and had to spit it out. Painful in every sense of the word.

Perhaps it's time I listened to the advice of medical professionals.

I'm so overjoyed, dear reader, I can't begin to tell you. I really thought I was looking death in the eye. It now seems, far from calling on me, he was in another town altogether.


I'd really like to thank all those people who've wished me well, thought of me and remembered me in their prayers. I appreciate it more than I can express in words and love you very much, very deeply.


Anonymous said...

Such good news first thing in the morning!

Brian said...

Love you!

Brian said...

Did I mention that I woke up this morning and it was -3 degrees Fahrenheit? And it has just now worked its way up to a balmy 0 degrees?

Your news has helped keep me warm.

Andrea said...

I have done much thinking about you over the last few days trying to decide what/how/if... but that doesn't matter. My new friend, you are well!! Well & whole! (swallowing is well overrated!) I am so happy for both of you. For Ian , surely was in as much distress as you. Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

Minge, I am SO happy that it's just a minor hiccup. Excellent news - enough to make me smile on this dingy afternoon!

I had similar surgery on my nose to remove an oddity, and it does hurt once the numbing has gone. As it starts to heal, the stitches will probably start to pull and make it really irritated - you'll be fine!

In other news, I also had my tongue pierced many years ago, and it swelled up - I had issues with swallowing, but found Ice Cream meant I could eat, and the coldness helped the pain.

Also, try getting some Co-Codamol, paracetamol and codiene - that should help the pain :)

All our best matey, and congrats once more - at least a sudden appointment didn't give you a chance to worry too much about it!

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear all is well. Of coruse now you've got me wrenching my tongue out of my mouth and checking feverishly for lumps. What a relief that must be just before Christmas.

zona boy said...

PRAISE JESUS!!! (or some such person who looks after us)

Carioca said...

Dear, I'm very, very happy for you!
We met each other a little time ago, but I like you so much. Be sure!
Well, hugs! See you!

Anonymous said...

Hugs & congrats!

Minge said...

Thank you, all, so much.

I feel like I should be peeled from the ceiling. I've not been this happy in years. Love you!

Anonymous said...

Oh Minge I am so glad everything will be okay. You've been in my thoughts and I'm happy my prayers were answered. AMEN! :) xoxo

Enda P said...

Hooray! Minge can use his tongue with impunity once more!

Em... that doesn't scan well.... ;o

Minge said...

Hurrah, hurrah and hurrah!

Anonymous said...

Who is Impunity?

And what a handsome tongue. It's not often you see a tongue and think "oh what a goodlooking tongue, I wonder if it's married", but...

Anyway, just to say, wonderful news (indeed, fabulous news).

Krafty Bitch said...

Dearest Minge,

I am so very happy for you! You have been in my thoughts as I do try to read your blog daily. You just delight me, simply delight me! Always a bright spot to the day!

Best to you and your beau!

Minge said...

Well, ain't life full of surprises! Pleased to know you, Krafty.

Hey, Kapitano, what's also fabulous is that the tongue heals very quickly! It' agony today, but, hopefully, within a very short while I'll be eating, drinking and yacking with no sign that anything was ever wrong! Hurrah!

RIC said...

I am very, very happy for you, Minge! Great news indeed! I was right when I asked you to change that title...

Moncrief Speaks said...

SO, SO happy for you, my dear!!!!!!

Lex Ham Rand said...

Thank goodness!!!!! I was quite worried for you. But now I am very happy!

Sorry for the pain - but soon you will be feeling great (and no more WORRY).

stickola said...

Great news, glad you're on the mend now...looks so bloody painful though, take care xxx

enda P said...

Who is Impunity? A friend of Gay Abandon, I think.

Anonymous said...

Good news indeed.

graham said...

Hurrah..I'm delighted for you minge :-)
I had my fingers crossed. I hope you'll be back to your ravenous self in no time :-)

gab said...

great news im really pleased xxxxxx

Minge said...

I'm the happiest boy, ever.