As Cher once said, dear reader, love hurts. Furthermore, love is like a stove. It burns you when it's hot.
Of course, there's always more than one side to a coin and more than one version of any story. Yes, love is like a stove! But you can use that stove, dear reader, to heat up your dinner and to warm your kitchen. In a warm kitchen, many people can reside. Warming their hands by the stove, laughing, chatting, drinking gin and tonics.
In a cold kitchen, a householder tends to be alone. If others are present, they tend to huddle in a corner, covers over their heads, teeth chattering or sucking on a Farley's rusk.
Little Alex doesn't want fuel from the rest of the UK. He'd rather pay more for it elsewhere. The net result of these actions will be a cold kitchen and no friends.
Fabulous Jack, however, wants Scotland to remain part of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. We'll have lots of fuel and keep the good friendships we've built up over the past three hundred years and more.
Please, dear reader, if you reside in Scotland, vote Labour on 3rd May 2007.
The SNP want to look backwards. I think it's time to look and go forward.
One thing that really bothers me about the SNP is their childish reaction to the economies of Scotland and the union. They basically say nothing about the rescue of the Scottish state after the Darien fiasco but constantly harp on about Scotland's oil. Just like Jimmy, in the playground, wanting to be friends with Willy as long as he's got sweeties. Jimmy gets given an even bigger sweet, so he says to Willy, "Fuck off! I've always hated you, anyway!"
In a world full of hatred and strife, can't we buck the trend, love one another and get along? We're better that way.
And, for the love of Christ, can you imagine Alex Salmond as First Minister? Or President? We'd be a laughing stock.
Keep up with the events of the Scottish election with Brian Taylor's blog by clicking here.