Readers of Diary of an old cheeser will know of the author's interest in Dame Beverley of Craven and his amending her lyrics resulting in a marrow being inserted into her fanny. The readership may also know of a wild notion documented in the comments section of his Beverley post to discuss other items placed on or, indeed, inside Ms Craven.And so, dear reader, this is where we find ourselves today.
Think of it as a cross between a fan's obsession with Beverley and the stuff on my cat website.
So now, my loves, you have a chance, in the comments section, to suggest things which could or should be placed on or in Beverley Craven. Any part and any orifice, but please make this known. This is not a competition and there will be no prize, but kudos to those with imagination.
Go on, you know you want to!
20 comments:
Earthworms in her nostrils.
A big spider on her belly!
I would place a garland of daisys on her head and pretty wrist corsage purchsed from the plastic flower department at WalMart.
A safe. Preferably from a great height.
A banana right up her twanggg.
Every other one hit wonder from the '80s forced into her rectum
Well what can I say darling Minge, you beat me to it!! Well done!!
Very glad to see you resurrecting our Bev and thanks for the copious plugs of my blog. Hopefully this will attract many more readers as utterly perverted and weird as ourselves. Plus a few Beverley Craven fans perhaps.
And I so love the way you have linked words like "marrow" and "fanny". Of course the uninitiated may need these properly explaining.
Well, as I was too chicken to set up a Bev poll on my blog, I will now contribute.
I love Salty Sailor's suggestion btw - and partly influenced by that, I would suggest:
Fellow bland diva Barbara Dickson up Bev's back passage (whilst singing "January, February").
Blond lesbo-look-a-like Yazz in her front bottom (whilst singing "The only way is up" - rather appropriate).
How's that?
A firework in her botty.
I think beans and pulses in her ears.
I'd like a nice big black cock, right up my twot!
A jackhammer in her anus.
A tin of carrots in her mouth!
Oh My God!! Bev's made her own contribution!! Dirty bitch!!
Bev...is that really you??
I'd like to see a bolt. Through her neck.
Lord above us!
Bev?
I don't think Bev can reply at the moment. She's currently inserting a marrow.
Lordy!
Do you think it's her, Old Cheeser?
I'd like to see nails through her hands and feet.
I think it is indeed Ms Craven, Minge. Unless someone has found a clever way of linking comments to websites...?
On second thoughts, no. That's JUST not possible. How could I possibly have imagined that?
Undoubtedly we have tapped into the cess pit of filth that is the mind of Beverley Craven. A nation reels in shock.
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