Polyester

I woke up this morning with a mouth like a cardboard box, feeling like I had the flu. I was depressed. What could possibly cheer me up?

A trip to the DVD cupboard soon gave me the answer. A good dose of Polyester.

I don't feel much better, but I am happier.

Polyester is an amazing movie, a melodrama, a trash-fest, a comedy. The original desperate housewife, Francine Fishpaw, as played by Divine, is in the midst of crisis after crisis. To say her family is dysfunctional would be the understatement of the year, if not the century. Her husband farts in bed and is having an affair with his secretary, as played by Mink Stole. Her daughter only goes out with punks and her son has a foot-stomping fetish. To top it all, her Mother is an utter bitch. Her only friend in the world, Cuddles, her former cleaner, as played by Edith Massey saves her - in every way a woman can be saved! Also, check out the Edith Massey Yahoo!group. Oh, and the Mink Stole Yahoo!group.

The daughter gets pregnant so Francine throws her into a home for unmarried Mothers. Check out one of the nuns - it's Mary Vivian Pearce! Francine can sure sniff out trouble, and once she's kicked the booze, everything's perfect. Or is it? You'll have to watch it to find out.

This film is so twisted, it makes me feel normal. I'll have to do something about that.

What a wonderful movie. It certainly deserves a standing ovulation!