How shocked, dear reader, do you suppose I was on hearing a moaning fish wife from England calling in to complain about having no drinking water on tap for the past thirteen days? I'll tell you. I was very shocked indeed.
I cannot believe, in a world where a child has to travel many miles on foot to collect the dregs of a muddy puddle, a woman in Gloucestershire seriously expects us to pity her having to boil the water coming through the tap in her MFI kitchen.
Yes, floods are terrible but, hey, at least the moaning Gloucester bint is alive. I wonder if it crossed her tiny mind, while waiting to go to air, in the silence of her own thoughts, not to yack on about having to boil water in her electric kettle but to beg for more media attention and aid for the two hundred million people affected by flooding in South Asia?
Sadly, two hundred and forty people have died in India...
...And three people here in the UK.
But those three people are the tip of the iceberg. It's been revealed today that the flooding may be the cause of Britain's latest foot and mouth outbreak. Debby Reynolds (Debby, sadly and not Debbie) appears worried.
I'd be more worried if I were a cow, pig, sheep or goat. Many cows have already been slaughtered and I expect more animals will be murdered yet.
It's time people sat back and really considered their own positions. Boiling water in order to make it drinkable isn't such a dreadful thing and certainly nothing to grizzle over. At least there's water on tap and it's only been unfit for human use for the past two weeks. The slaughter of sentient beings and the plight of millions of Asian people affected by floods might move me to telephone a radio news programme. Boiling my kettle would not.