Yes, the owners of the house next door have put it up for sale! And by the look of the particulars, the lady next door has been doing a spot of tidying up and even thought to take the washing from the line which had been outside and exposed to the elements for weeks!
I hope the place is sold quickly. No longer will I have to hear her shouting and swearing at her poor children, her vile transistor radio-sounding hi-fi blaring out at two in the morning or the slamming of doors at breakfast time as she rows with her husband!
The lady who lives on the other side of my neighbour will be as gleeful as I am, I'm sure.
Now, If I hadn't drunk the last bottle of champagne in the house on Saturday night, I'd be popping the cork at this very moment.
If you always dreamed, dear reader, of living next door to Minge and within spitting distance of J K Rowling, clickez-vous ici.
Also in the news...
Alex Salmond has started what he's calling a big conversation. I call it a sly move, but who am I to speculate upon the shenanigans of a rat?
His chances are remote, and he knows this. So why press ahead? What's his wee game? Win or lose, the break up of the union is his end game and wants to keep the idea fresh in our minds for as long as possible.
He'll succeed in that, I'm sure, especially if we as the United Kingdom elect a conservative government next time around. A British Tory governement would be too much for many wavering Scots to stomach and I can predict, with reasonable ease, what the result of any independence referendum might be.
But of course, Mr Salmond is an awful way off from a referendum. With a parliament well short of a fifty per cent nationalist majority, it's probably never going to happen. The SNP like to cheerily snort and cackle about winning the election in May. But I can't really see it as a victory. With a margin of a handful of seats, the electoral equation gives a very curious answer to the SNP and the voters. The numbers of Tory, Labour and Liberal Democrat seats remained pretty static. The SNP took their additional seats from the Greens, Solidarity and the SSP - all of whom are also nationalist parties.
O grave, where is thy victory?
Other supposed successes for Salmond include populist moves like saving A&E departments, the abolition of prescription charges for people with chronic illnesses and tolls on the Forth and Tay bridges. Though remember, dear reader, two things:
- The money for these measures has to come from somewhere
- The Scottish Parliament has tax raising powers
The Scottish political scene is going to be a very lively and interesting place over the next few years. Lots of ifs, buts and maybes, though. Does Alex Salmond have the balls to go for legislation that may be voted down by the parliament? Does the parliament have the balls to go for a vote of no confidence in the government/executive and First Minister if the SNP lose a vote in the chamber, prompting a Scottish parliamentary election?
Breaking up Britain would be a pointless and ridiculous leap in the dark. Not in Scotland's interest at all.
I'm still coughing for Britain, there's a suspected case of foot and mouth in Kent and E.coli in Paisley. Is it just me, or are we all dying?