Tuesday, August 14, 2007


Look what I've just seen as I glanced out of my bedroom window, dear reader!
Yes, the owners of the house next door have put it up for sale!  And by the look of the particulars, the lady next door has been doing a spot of tidying up and even thought to take the washing from the line which had been outside and exposed to the elements for weeks!

I hope the place is sold quickly.  No longer will I have to hear her shouting and swearing at her poor children, her vile transistor radio-sounding hi-fi blaring out at two in the morning or the slamming of doors at breakfast time as she rows with her husband!

The lady who lives on the other side of my neighbour will be as gleeful as I am, I'm sure.

Now, If I hadn't drunk the last bottle of champagne in the house on Saturday night, I'd be popping the cork at this very moment.

If you always dreamed, dear reader, of living next door to Minge and within spitting distance of J K Rowling, clickez-vous ici.

Also in the news...

Alex Salmond has started what he's calling a big conversation.  I call it a sly move, but who am I to speculate upon the shenanigans of a rat?

His chances are remote, and he knows this.  So why press ahead?  What's his wee game?  Win or lose, the break up of the union is his end game and wants to keep the idea fresh in our minds for as long as possible.

He'll succeed in that, I'm sure, especially if we as the United Kingdom elect a conservative government next time around.  A British Tory governement would be too much for many wavering Scots to stomach and I can predict, with reasonable ease, what the result of any independence referendum might be.

But of course, Mr Salmond is an awful way off from a referendum.  With a parliament well short of a fifty per cent nationalist majority, it's probably never going to happen.  The SNP like to cheerily snort and cackle about winning the election in May.  But I can't really see it as a victory.  With a margin of a handful of seats, the electoral equation gives a very curious answer to the SNP and the voters.  The numbers of Tory, Labour and Liberal Democrat seats remained pretty static.  The SNP took their additional seats from the Greens, Solidarity and the SSP - all of whom are also nationalist parties.

O grave, where is thy victory?

Other supposed successes for Salmond include populist moves like saving A&E departments, the abolition of prescription charges for people with chronic illnesses and tolls on the Forth and Tay bridges.  Though remember, dear reader, two things:

  1. The money for these measures has to come from somewhere
  2. The Scottish Parliament has tax raising powers
The Scottish political scene is going to be a very lively and interesting place over the next few years.  Lots of ifs, buts and maybes, though.  Does Alex Salmond have the balls to go for legislation that may be voted down by the parliament?  Does the parliament have the balls to go for a vote of no confidence in the government/executive and First Minister if the SNP lose a vote in the chamber, prompting a Scottish parliamentary election?

Breaking up Britain would be a pointless and ridiculous leap in the dark.  Not in Scotland's interest at all.


I'm still coughing for Britain, there's a suspected case of foot and mouth in Kent and E.coli in Paisley.  Is it just me, or are we all dying?


Brian said...

If you guys buy the house for me, I'll come be your live-in boy toy!

Wow. Now THAT'S remark that could come back to haunt me if ever I become a published young adult writer.

RIC said...

Now I guess it's my turn to tell you you shouldn't be so pessimistic... After a storm there's always nice weather...
Best wishes for Britain!
Hugs! :-)

David said...

^^writes down URL for future reference :-P

matty said...

I often worry that folks feel similar whenever I move from a place.

I KNOW they did when I was kid and we would move.

My father and his habit of shooting at spiders with his 45 and talking to John Wayne in the front and back yards.

...He would lapse into these odd moods when he claimed that John Wayne was hanging about.

All the more odd, my mother and I never really discussed it or did anything.

Anyway, I'm fairly sure we were not the sort one would want for a next door neighbor.

Plus, my Dad liked to have at least 2 cars up on cinder blocks in the front yard at all times and he weighed over 300lbs.

yes, i grew up in white trash in Texas.


But, I do think I'm a better neighbor now. tho, I find it quite hard to be green. I don't recycle much. (sorry)

...we're all dying anyway. Why bother?

japanesewhispers said...

Do me a favour, find out out how much goes for an mail me. Junya and I have been talking and we've decided that when the time comes to move home we'll be moving to Edniburgh and not Glasgow. Gives me the option of getting into politics, but also jobs are better and per head of population there's less stabbings than Glasgow. Imagine if we were neighbours and our children were friends!!!

Conortje said...

Why don't you buy it yourself and have one massive Minge palace. We could have a whip around here to fund the cause so long as you have one hell of a house warming!

Salty Sailor said...

omg... have you seen the hideous bed-spread she's got?

It's doesn't look bad (I like their fridge), but I think she'd have laminated her garden as well, given the chance.

Did you notice their name is mcmANUS ? I can't believe it's offers over 195k... that's almost a quarter of a million pounds!

Bill S. said...

I'm sure my neighbors would be happily rid of me. I tend to stay up all hours of the night and tend to walk around my apartment singing vaguely profane nonsense songs.

(Wow, that IS an ugly bedspread!)

japanesewhispers said...

Seriously offers over 195k????? In that case we may be moving back to Greenock. Better by a stab proof vest!

FiL said...

For 195K one would expect the fridge freezer to be thrown in without negotiation...

The floorplan & dimensions are eerily similar to our old house in London. And I think we had the same laminate flooring, though I hasten to add it was installed by the previous owner. Probably counted as one of the "period features." But our duvet covers were sublime.

And just curious, would the new owner be obliged to spit at J.K. Rowling?

Salty Sailor said...

Spit at JK? OMFG... Minge would have a fit!

Voix said...

I would love to be your neighbor, Minge. I think you're the sweetest man on the planet.

Thanks for all the fabulous tunes! You are keeping me sane!

Sloppy kisses!