Open

I like to think I'm open minded and plan on proving the point in this brief post about Scotland.

This evening, Ian and I were discussing how Scotland would be better off as a sovereign state within the European Union. We'd have the Euro, we'd not have to worry about having a Conservative government and the road signs would display distances and speeds in kilometres. We'd more than likely be a republic, too. Fabulous? Yes, for Scotland.

But, you see, dear reader, I'm a unionist at heart. Without a left-leaning Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland would lurch even further to the right. The voice of the Daily Mail reader, although a minority, would have no reasoned socialist viewpoint with which to argue and it would all go horribly wrong South of the border. But why should I worry if I'm living in the Republic Of Scotland? Because I care about the rest of my country, I suppose. Just as any Scottish nationalist worth his or her salt would worry about something dreadful happening in Edinburgh, even if he or she lived in Aberdeen and never left the granite city.

Although I'm far from patriotic, I still find the very idea of having my country broken up into several parts as upsetting as any Scottish nationalist might balk at Scotland breaking up into Pictland/Kingdom of Alba, Strathclyde, Northumbria and giving the islands back to the Norwegians.

Yes, Scotland might be more progressive and better off leaving it's English yoke behind, but it just feels selfish to me. Like a lottery winner leaving his or her spouse on finding they've hit the jackpot.

"I'm leaving you, now. I don't need you any more."

If we did leave the union and be the cause of its break up, I'd hope the reasons were plucked from a higher branch of the intelligence tree. I'm thinking of the time the Baltic states left the USSR and played their part in its break-up.

Yesterday, the EU announced it had given up on the UK and will no longer force us to use metric measurements. Great. So now our children can be taught to measure in feet, inches, yards and miles; in fluid ounces, pints quarts and gallons.

How many yards are there in a mile, again?

I'm being pulled in two directions, dear reader. The Euro lies ahead of me, LSD behind me. Which is the best way to go?

So, the EU might well have given up on the UK. But they'd not, I'm sure, give up on Scotland. Perhaps it's time Scotland gave up on England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

Did I really say that?

Water

Today, on my return from Borders here in Edinburgh, I was listening to PM with Eddie Mair.

How shocked, dear reader, do you suppose I was on hearing a moaning fish wife from England calling in to complain about having no drinking water on tap for the past thirteen days?  I'll tell you.  I was very shocked indeed.

Shocked.

I cannot believe, in a world where a child has to travel many miles on foot to collect the dregs of a muddy puddle, a woman in Gloucestershire seriously expects us to pity her having to boil the water coming through the tap in her MFI kitchen.

Yes, floods are terrible but, hey, at least the moaning Gloucester bint is alive.  I wonder if it crossed her tiny mind, while waiting to go to air, in the silence of her own thoughts, not to yack on about having to boil water in her electric kettle but to beg for more media attention and aid for the two hundred million people affected by flooding in South Asia?

Sadly, two hundred and forty people have died in India...

...And three people here in the UK.

But those three people are the tip of the iceberg.  It's been revealed today that the flooding may be the cause of Britain's latest foot and mouth outbreak.  Debby Reynolds (Debby, sadly and not Debbie) appears worried.

I'd be more worried if I were a cow, pig, sheep or goat.  Many cows have already been slaughtered and I expect more animals will be murdered yet.

It's time people sat back and really considered their own positions.  Boiling water in order to make it drinkable isn't such a dreadful thing and certainly nothing to grizzle over.  At least there's water on tap and it's only been unfit for human use for the past two weeks.  The slaughter of sentient beings and the plight of millions of Asian people affected by floods might move me to telephone a radio news programme. Boiling my kettle would not.

Turf

Union!

Today marks the 300th anniversary of the fabulous Acts of Union, which merged the two kingdoms of England and Scotland.

Hurrah!

How much do you know about this momentous event? The BBC invite you to test your knowledge with this quiz:

Act Of Union Quiz.

Sadly, the United Kingdom may not last much longer, dear reader, if Alex Salmond and his vile friends get their way. Enjoy it while you can.