Ten things I'm not looking forward to about being old:
1 I'll say, "...young people today..." a lot.
2 I'll have to get a shawl.
3 I'll feel the cold.
4 I'll tell young girls that they look like sluts.
5 I'll ask young boys if they're girls or boys.
6 I won't be ashamed of the photograph in my bus pass.
7 I'll watch Countryfile.
8 I'll look at polyester dresses and mumble, "That's nice."
9 I'll hit people in the face with my walking stick.
10 I'll piss myself all the time.
you know, hen, since I went home for 6 weeks my readers have dried up! Virtually fuck all cunts have visited me. You'd practically think I was NHS.
ReplyDeleteBUT. This bitch is now abroad again and back with a fucking VENGEANCE.
Get blogging on my space you clarty mo'fo's or I'll drive by 'n can you. Or at least shout rude words out the winday.
Ta-ra! XXXXXXxxxxxxxx
LOL - I'm already guilty of #1 ;)
ReplyDeleteit's better than being guilty of a No 2, anovelist. I mean, that's just shit.
ReplyDelete(insert cheap laugh here)
I've just tried calling Minge n Phyllis and they're ignoring the phone! Shocking. I mean, what can they possibly be up to at 10pm on a Wednesday night?
ReplyDeleteCrisco, anyone?
I look at your blog, Alan! I'm faithful to the cause!
ReplyDeleteHmm... I'm actually looking forward to #9.
ReplyDeleteWill you please mind your age, boy?!
ReplyDeleteCan you possibly imagine the effect of that list on... everyone? Honestly? I didn't read it. What for? Depressions come and go as the wind blows to and fro. So why bother? «Que será, será / Whatever will be, will be.» Period.
Enjoy your evening with your 12, 14, 16 inches... what do you call it anyway?... (lol&lol) :-)
I've hit old as I look at some of the drivers on the road and think "What the hell! You look like you're 12!"
ReplyDeleteA good thing for being even older old? You can be cranky whenever you want as you've earned it:)